🌍 How to find the perfect Host Family – Au Pair USA Guide
✨ Personal Introduction
I was an au pair in the USA — in beautiful California — and it was the time of my life. Truly one of the most unforgettable experiences I’ve ever had, and I did it through the agency Cultural Care. But a huge part of what made my year so special was having the perfect host family. A great match can turn your au pair year into something magical, supportive and life-changing.
In this article, I want to share my best tips to help you find your perfect host family, so your experience can be just as incredible as mine.
✨ 1. Know What You’re Looking For
Before you begin your search, take time to get clear about your needs, boundaries and expectations. Ask yourself:
- Do I prefer a quiet or lively household?
- Do I want to live with younger kids or older kids?
- How independent do I want to be?
- Do I feel comfortable with pets?
- How involved do I want to be in family life?
The clearer you are, the easier it becomes to find the right match.
🗣️ 2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Great communication is the foundation of a great host-family relationship. Prioritize video calls over texting to get a real sense of their personality and family dynamic.
Must-ask questions:
- What does a typical day look like in your family?
- What are your expectations of me as your au pair?
- How do you handle communication and conflict?
- What are your house rules?
- How would you describe your children’s personalities?
A perfect host family will answer openly, show interest in you and ask questions in return.
💛 3. Pay Attention to the Family’s Energy
Facts matter — but so does your gut feeling.
Observe during conversations:
- Do they make you feel comfortable?
- Do they treat you with respect?
- Do they show patience and warmth?
- Do they seem genuinely interested in who you are?
If something feels “off,” trust that intuition and keep looking.
🏡 4. Make Sure Expectations Are Crystal Clear
Misunderstandings often happen when expectations are unclear. Before accepting a family, make sure you fully understand:
- Your working hours
- Your responsibilities
- Your days off and vacation policy
- Your living arrangements
- Pocket money / salary
- Curfew (if any)
- Rules around guests
- Flexibility during schedule changes
Ideally, put everything in writing. It protects both sides.
🚩 5. Look Out for Red Flags
No matter how excited you are, stay alert. Common red flags include:
- Vague or inconsistent answers
- Overly high expectations
- Lack of structure or chaotic routines
- Host parents who seem rude, impatient, or uninterested
- Avoiding video calls
- Negative reviews from previous au pairs
- Ignoring boundaries
If any of these come up — keep searching.
💬 6. Talk to Previous Au Pairs
A great host family will always be willing to connect you with a former au pair. This is your most reliable source of honest insights.
Ask them:
- What was your experience like with the family?
- Were there any challenges?
- How flexible and supportive were the host parents?
- Would you choose them again?
Their answers tell you everything you need to know.
✈️ Trust your intuition
You aren’t just choosing a place to sleep — you’re choosing a temporary home. If you feel excited, understood, respected, and comfortable, that’s a good sign.
If something feels wrong, even if you can’t pinpoint why, listen to that feeling.
Your intuition is often your best guide.